We understand you accidentally clicked the Ad.  Your curiosity completely took over and you filled out like 5 pages of information.  I know your address, date of birth, and that you have a German Shepherd named Tootsie.  You claim it wasn’t you?  Do I hear Tootsie in the background?  Is she barking at the mailman?  No, I’m not spying on you, it was just a lucky guess.  The internet is a beautiful, evil thing.  If you as much as have one passing thought about my product, while walking Tootsie, it probably generates as a lead in my queue.  What’s a queue?  I dunno.  Anyway, it is my fiduciary duty to follow up on the leads.  Yes, in my queue.  My job requires it.  They count calls, and call time.  More importantly, how do I not call a person that named their German Shepherd Tootsie?  Honestly, I really don’t want to ruin your day.  I’m under the impression that you need help.  I want to be friends.  I completely understand that I am one of nine thousand calls you’ve received in the last six minutes, but I’m different.  I’m me.

I know you think I’m a secret agent trying to play mind tricks on you.  So keep Tootsie close and put on your tin foil hat.  I’m not going to take much of your time.  Unless, we do become instant BFFs, and you tell me how your buddy at church is divorcing her no good husband for cheating with the organist.  I will then listen to you forever.  If not, that’s cool.  I just have a couple questions.  Yes, get Tootsie a treat before I start.  Yes, I have some of your information, but the questions I am going to ask will help me determine if we can effectively help you reach your goals.  Upon answering my questions, I will school you on some stuff you didn’t know before.  Of course, I will answer your questions.  Yes, it’s a lot of information.  I understand.  Good news, we don’t have to stop world hunger on this call.   My objective is to introduce myself, my company, our product, and how I might be able to help you during your time of need.  It seems like we have the makings of a beautiful relationship.  When do you think I can talk with you and Tootsie again?  Perfect.  Oh, I forgot to tell you this call is being recorded for quality control and training purposes.  I swear I’m not a secret agent.